Have you thought about having a goal when you share an emotion? How you feel afterward may be related to your answer or (unconscious) intent.
What sort of listener response are you looking for when you share a feeling?
Do you seek:
1. Validation? Are you looking for confirmation of your viewpoint?
2. Advice? Do you want somebody to solve a problem?
3. Stand In? Are you looking for your listener to take away discomfort?
4. Venting? Do you want someone to truly hear you out when expressing a feeling?
5. Encouragement? Are you looking for a pep talk?
Match these potential outcomes with the five goals above.
a. Clarity? Helps you get a clear picture and think rationally.
b. Relief? Helps you get feelings out in the open.
c. Affirmation? I'm not the only one who feels this way.
d. Guidance? Helps you convert unknowns to knowns.
e. Accountability? Helps keep you on track.
Please remember, none of the above options is inherently "bad" or "good". Each can simply represent your choice in the moment.
What are the most effective ways you use to share emotions to come away from the interaction feeling more empowered? I would love to hear from you!
