Who can you talk to about self-confidence? Maybe, it’s somebody like “Gwendolyn.”
Let me share a little about her…
I arrive at the hotel in Corpus Christi early, to check out the room and technical arrangements for my breakout session. The coordinator had emailed me to expect 25 attendees, tops. So imagine the shock of discovering a cavernous meeting room seating several hundred people. Stage, full screen video, the works.
It’s unexpected. That’s when I hear from Gwendolyn.
Yes, Gwendolyn, my twin who lives in my head. At times I hate her. This is one of those times.
“Patricia, you’ve messed up. Again! All set for two dozen people? Hah! Now you have to deliver in a lecture hall! Dummy, why didn’t you read the page about schedule changes?”
Things like that.
Gwendolyn …Ever so ready to pounce, triggering guilt and self-doubt. She holds onto a glitch and converts it into a cliff-hanger. Oh, there’s so much more to Gwendolyn. She tells me what to eat. She wants me to hold a grudge and blame…
If Gwendolyn is such a pain, why keep her around?
Believe me I’ve tried to forget her, to drown her out with gingersnaps. I’ve yelled at her. But Gwendolyn won’t go away.
Two things counter the self-doubting Gwendolyn.
First, she is part of me. (To get rid of her, I’d need a frontal lobotomy.)
Second, she lives in a very tight place – fear and loss of love.
Gwenny, let me hold you in Gram’s squeaky chair.
Rocking, rocking, back and forth.
I look over the lecture hall. Plenty of time to run off extra handouts. That’s why I got here early.
I can distribute them before things get started.
I’ll get off the stage and mingle with attendees.
I know how to read the audience.
Flash drive works fine. Darn good stuff.
Yes, Gwendolyn and me…Like it or not, we are together in this.
Do you have a Gwendolyn who drains your self-confidence?
When does she check in? I would love to hear how you acknowledge your “Gwendolyn”.
